Spring cleaning.

Bob was helping his wife, Hilary, spring clean the house. "I've swatted 5 flies, 3 were males and 2 females" said Bob, proudly. "How do you know their sex?" asked Hilary.
Bob replied " The males were on my beer cans and the other two were on the 'phone".

Sandown over the years.

Lost dog!

Same post box?

Sandown postcard dated 1913

First beach cafe with a coat of arms?

OUR MOTTO:

Always, our water is very hot.

Any Hendrix fans?

Put those ear phones in, turn up the volume~ click on

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnLHC84_lHg

What a treat!!!!

OLD and NEW Sandown.

TOMMY COOPER LIVES!!

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

I bought some HP sauce the other day, 10p deposit and 6p a week for 12 months.

I went to the butcher's the other day and bet him £50 he couldn't get the meat off the top shelf. He said "The steaks are too high".

A man came around after a serious road accident, he said "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!", "I know", the doctor said, "I've cut your arms off, by the way, can I buy your gloves?"

The police found our ice cream man dead in his van, covered in cream, Cadbury's flakes and hundreds and thousands ~ they reckon he'd topped himself.

Thankyou Bob Jenkins, old chap!

GENUINE COMMENTS COPIED FROM U.S. COURT TRANSCRIPTIONS.

-------oooooooOOOOOOOooooooo-------

LAWYER "What gear were you in when the accident took place?"
WITNESS "Gucci sweats and Reebok trainers"

LAWYER "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in their sleep, they don't know about it until the next morning?"
DOCTOR "Have you passed your exams!?"

LAWYER "How was your first marriage terminated?"
WITNESS "By death"
LAWYER "Whose death?"

LAWYER "Please do not nod to my questions, the answer must be ORAL,. Which school did you go to?"
WITNESS "Oral".

LAWYER "Can you describe the individual?"
WITNESS "Yes, stocky build and a beard"
LAWYER "Were they male or female?"
WITNESS "Unless the circus was in town, I'm opting for male"

Clive and Steve's charity walk.

Clive and Steve did their charity work by entering "Walk the Wight" May 2008. It proved a mile too far by the looks of it.

Is it the world's worst joke?

Zhu Zwing Yang tells me, that when translated into Mandarin, people will fall over because it is so hilariously funny!

CLICK ON other posts...............................down there.............V