Great idea backfires!

STROLLERS' brain wave for a Drive-thru proves to be not such a good idea.
It is NOT a delivery of scone mix!

FOR GASHEADS

http://youtube.com/watch?v=do-YamjFIZ4

Dumb laws ~ thanks to Carol of Colchester.

Just a selection of DUMB LAWS from around the world.

ALABAMA:
It's illegal to wear a false moustache if it's likely to cause laughter in church.
Dominoes may NOT be played on Sundays.
CALIFORNIA:
Women may NOT drive in a house coat.
It's illegal to shoot game from a moving vehicle, unless the animal is a whale.
FLORIDA:
Men are forbidden from wearing strapless gowns in public.
If an elephant is tied to a parking meter, the parking fee will apply.
Unmarried women may NOT parachute on a Sunday
Women may be fined if they fall asleep under a hair dryer
TEXAS:

It is illegal to take more than 3 sips from an alcoholic drink whilst standing.
Encyclopaedia Britannica is banned as it has a recipe for home made beer.
PENNSYLVANIA:
You cannot stand for state governor if you have ever taken part in a dual.

-----ooooo00000ooooo-----

Wonderful story!!

For those with bad eyesight:
A council has been embarrassed after erecting a Welsh language sign reading
"I am out of the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated."
Swansea council contacted its in-house translation service when designing a bilingual sign barring heavy goods vehicles in the Morriston area of the city. But as the translator was not available, they received an automated email response in Welsh saying "I am not in the office at the moment".
Unaware of the real meaning of the message, officials had it printed on the sign under the English.
The council took down the slogan after Welsh speakers noticed the mistake.
For those with worse eyesight:
A council has been embarrassed after erecting a Welsh language sign reading....

STROLLERS STAFF OUTING ~ TO CUBA!!

A Cuban pasty!

Cuban toilets ~ ugh!

Sign reads: No Sentarse ~ please do not sit on me!

Our Cuban holiday.

George Michael in Cuba!

A sun tanned Clive.

A new job for Steve.

STROLLERS STAFF OUTING ~ TO CUBA!!

We "twinned" with a beach cafe in HAVANA, exchanging ideas on baguettes etc.

STROLLERS WIND FARM

As usual, STROLLERS are first to build a wind farm to help keep down the cost of electricity. Sadly, THWART protesters "paid a visit" one night and vandalised our efforts.

STROLLERS UNIQUE GUIDE TO BIRD SPOTTING.

STROLLERS UNIQUE GUIDE TO BIRD SPOTTING.

STROLLERS UNIQUE GUIDE TO BIRD SPOTTING................................

STROLLERS UNIQUE GUIDE TO BIRD SPOTTING.

Opening day ~ May 1st 2006.

Clive, Babs and Rosie get spruced up for the grand opening, Steve prefers to teach a young lad the "nut-meg" on the beach, while his mum acts as a goal-post.

8 local beauties answer the advert for one new member of STROLLERS' staff. One is appointed, but the seven disappointed applicants form a bizarre sit-down strike on the beach.

APRIL 1st at STROLLERS.

Steve's gag ~ putting super glue

on the soles of staff

shoes fooled all of

the female staff!

SEEDOGGO

A number of customers

asked for entry forms!

Early morning jobs

One of the first jobs for Babs

and Rosie is to collect

fresh flowers from

Somerfield for

the table displays.

Waste not...

Babs' nifty needlework skills
are put to the test as Rosie
inspects the new dresses
made from re-cycled

tea towels.

Babs' huge over ordering of

SHREADED WHEAT was not wasted.

Rosie helps Babs thatch a few

of the chalets.

Fresh food ~ always at STROLLERS.

One of Barbara's jobs every morning is to get a

supply of fresh milk from Ermintrude.

Barbara is on the stool.

Balance a baguette competition.

Clive entered the "Balance a baguette on your head"

competition, but fails to notice that his wife has

fallen onto the beach.

Miss STROLLERS 2006

Just one entrant for Miss STROLLERS 2006,

so the competition was abandoned.

STROLLERS 7 aside boys' team.

No sympathy from the local community police-woman when our boys'

footie team has all their kit stolen.

THERE ARE ALWAYS JOBS FOR STEVE

Even in the winter time, Steve is needed to do maintenance on the chalets.

He is happy to venture out in all weather conditions.

New Year's day 2009

A lovely sunny day, but near freezing temperatures at STROLLERS.

STROLLERS ~ Points to ponder.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Never hit a man with glasses ~ use your fist.

It's easy to forgive an enemy ~ after you have got even.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

If you can't beat them ~ pay to have them beaten.

The world is full of apathy ~ So what!?

If tomorrow never comes ~ then you're dead.

Don't judge a book by its movie.

Borrow money from pessimists ~ they don't expect it back.

Money is the root of all wealth.

A bird in the hand~ makes blowing your nose dificult.

SMILE ~ it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Drilling for oil is a boring job.

One good turn ~gets most of the duvet.

The bigger they are ~ the harder they hit.

If at first you don't succeed ~ don't try sky-diving.

Be nice to your kids ~ they'll be choosing your nursing home.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

If you can't laugh at yourself ~ make fun of others.

Change is inevitable ~ except from a vending machine.

Unfortunately, Barbara's voice text message for 60 baguettes was misunderstood and 60 big hats were delivered instead.

---oooOOOooo---

BUMPER STICKERS.

I wouldn't touch the metric system with a 3.084 metre barge pole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Support your local SEARCH AND RESCUE~

GET LOST!

~~~~~~~~~~~

REMEMBER you are unique ~ just like everyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Preserve nature ~ pickle a squirrel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wear short sleeves ~ support the right to bare arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got a new car for my wife ~ best swap ever!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd kill for a Nobel peace prize.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's no future in time travel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To err is human, to moo bovine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trust in God ~ but lock your car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love animals ~ especially with gravy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not a complete idiot ~ some parts are missing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DRUGS WILL LEAD NOWHERE ~

but at least it's a scenic route.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife is on a balanced diet ~

a cream cake in both hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday is a dreadful way to spend

14.3% of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The light at the end of the tunnel ~

is a train coming right at you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If the voices in my head paid rent ~

I'd be a millionaire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A book has just come out "50 things to do before you die"

Not one of them is "Shout for help".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GRIM JOKES AND SILLY SIGNS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A dart player threw DOUBLE TWENTY.

A second throw DOUBLE TWENTY.

As he took his third throw someone knocked his arm,

the dart flew through an open window hitting

a Mother Superior who fell into the path of

a lorry and was killed instantly.

SCORER: One nun dead and eighty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leif, the Viking, arrived home after a long voyage. He went to vote in the
local election only to find that his name was missing from the electoral roll.
The registrar said "I must have taken Lief off my census".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My daughter came home from playing in the park, she and her friends were pushing 2 armchairs and a sofa. She told me that a man in the park gave them to her, I said to her "I've told you before, not to accept suites from strangers."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to a restaurant where there was a live band, they were dreadful. The waiter asked me if I wanted them to play something, so I said "Yes please, rummy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two American tourists were visiting North Wales, they were fascinated when they reached LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYRNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCH

they stopped for a coffee and asked the waitress "Tell us, how exactly do you pronounce the name of this place?" She replied slowly BUR........GER.........KING.

SILLY SIGNS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sign on a plumber's van..........Don't sleep with a drip ~ 'phone me.

Ouside a chemist's shop......... We dispense with accuracy.

Bristol shop.........Why go elsewhere and be cheated, come here instead.

Farmer's field...... It's free to walk across this field, but the bull may charge.

Sign at farm.... BE CAREFUL: Goats are liable to nibble your clothes and butt.

Cafe sign.... If you find our staff unhelpful and rude you should see the manager.

Launderette...... When the red light goes out, remove all of your clothes.

Paint-stripper gun..... Do NOT use as a hair dryer.

Label on multi pack Valentine cards..... I love you only.

UFOs over the Isle of Wight.

Local photographer, PHIL PETTY, was on hand to photograph,

perhaps, the oddest visitors STROLLERS had during 2008.

WISE SAYINGS FROM THE ISLE OF WIGHT.

Man who keeps feet on the ground cannot put on pants.

Man who fancies pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man cannot exchange his wife of 40 for two twenties.

Man who takes girl uphill, is not on the level.

Woman who goes camping must be aware of evil intent.

TOMMY COOPER LIVES.

I went to the doctor he said "Say ahhhh, please" "Why?" I asked "Well my dog's just died."

My wife bought me two jumpers for Christmas, I wore one on Christmas day and
she shouted "WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE OTHER ONE?"

My wife was offered 2 carcasses of venison and 8 legs of venison for £100,
I said that was too dear.

I taught my dog to beg ~ he came back with £3.30 today.

I went to the corner shop today, I bought four corners.

I went to the paper shop this morning,but it had blown away.

I went to the doctor today, he said "Stand by the window and stick your tongue out",
"Why?" I asked "'Cus I don't like that man over the road"

I went to the RSPCA offices today, small? You couldn't swing a cat in there.

I 'phoned the local ramblers club today, the bloke just went on and on and on!

I went in the pub and Vincent Van Gogh was there ~ I said "Do you want
a pint, Vinny?" "No thanks, I've got one 'ere."

My doctor says I'm a psychoceramic ~ a crack pot.

ALCOHOL is NOT the answer!!! But it helps you forget the question.

I danced all night with a lovely girl at the disco, at the end I asked if I
could see her home and she showed me a photograph of her bungalow.

My wife wanted an animal skin coat for Christmas, so I bought her a
donkey jacket.

Worst joke of the week competition.

Mahatma Gandhi went bare foot everywhere on hot, dusty roads.
His strict vegetarian diet meant that he remained very slim and
underweight, and the odd mixtures of food he ate gave him bad breath.
He was a
SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC PLAGUED WITH HALITOSIS.

I volunteered to visit sick people in hospital, I went in one ward, this man said
"Fare-thee-weel, thou first and fairest" , I moved on quickly, the next man started
"Ae fond kiss and then we sever, ae, farewell, alas, forever." I went to the next bed, he started too "Oh, My luve is like a red, red rose". I had to get out, so I asked the nurse whether it was a mad-house or not. She said it was the Burns unit.

A young man 'phoned for an ambulance,
"My girlfriend has banged her head and is unconscious"
"Where do you live sir?"
"Chrysanthemum Cottage, Eucalyptus Drive off Dracaena Gardens"
"Can you spell that, please?"
"Ummmmm...o.k. if I drag her to Green Lane? G...R....."

David Beckham had just completed son, Romeo's Postman Pat jigsaw.
He dashed into Victoria (without tripping) and exclaimed
" I've finished this jigsaw, it only took me 4 days
and it says 5-6 years on the box"

A man went into a pub and ordered 10 pints of lager,
he drunk the 1st, the 3rd, the 5th, the 7th and the 9th then he
started to leave. The barman called out "Why are you going,
you've left some drinks?"
"I know, the doctor said I should only have the odd drink."

When I was young my father built a 10 foot wall all around our house to
keep me out. It took me years to get over it.

I bought a 2009 calendar from Woolworth's ~ 25% off
I opened it at home and found October, November,
December ripped out!

~~~~~~~~~~

---------------------------There's more ~ click OLDER POSTS down there ----------------V

MARRIAGE.

My wife and I were blissfully happy for 25 years, then we met.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I joined the Foreign Legion to forget my wife, unfortunately the

sergeant major was the spitting image of her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I live the life of a medieval knight, I go to sleep

with a battle axe by my side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I joined Batchelors Anonymous- if I feel like getting married

they send a woman around in curlers to nag me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've often wanted to drown my sorrows, unfortunately

I can't get my wife to go swimming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ladies: The best way to get your husband to do a job around

the house is to tell him he is too old to attempt it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WAITER, WAITER...

###############

Why is there a dead grasshopper in my soup?

It probably couldn't swim, sir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's this?

It's bean soup, sir.

What is it now then?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's this fly doing in my ice cream?

Learning to ski, sir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This coffee tastes like mud!

That's because it was ground this morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a fly in my soup!

That's o.k. The spider on your roll will get it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SCHOOL DAZE.

Complete the well known phrase or saying:

A watched pot never ....... gets stolen.

Don't count your chickens.......eat them.

If you can't stand the heat....... get a pool.

Two's company...... three's musketeers.

Where there's smoke...... there's pollution.

Children should be seen and not...... spanked.

Strike while the..... bug is close.

You can't teach an old dog...... new maths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

DOCTOR, DOCTOR...

~~~~~

...I think I'm shrinking. You'll have to be a little patient.

~

.....I think I'm a clock. It's nothing to get wound up about.

********************

EXAM HOWLERS.

========

GEOGRAPHY.

A fjord is a Scandinavian car.

Japanese people ride around in jig saws.

Climate lasts a long time, weather lasts a day.

Equinox is a country near the Panama Canal.

~~~~~~

HISTORY.

Sir Francis Drake said "Let the Armada wait, my bowels cannot."

Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak.

Henry VIII found it difficult to walk with an abbess on his knee.

The French Revolution was caused by overcharging taxis.

~~~~~~~~~~~

SCIENCE.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

Mushrooms grow in damp places, that's why they

are shaped like umbrellas.

The wind is like air, only pushier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~