I went to a restaurant that serves "Breakfast at anytime." so I ordered egg on toast during the Renaissance.
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I never drink water - look at the way it rusts pipes. ~ W C Fields.
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If you want the last word in an argument with your wife ~ just say "I think you're right dear."
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Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, rather than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain.
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There are only two sorts of exercise in Hollywood: jogging and helping a divorced friend move. Robert Wagner.
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Poms don't have that much imagination because they've pinched most of their street names from the Monopoly board. Paul Hogan.
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Old age isn't all that bad ~ when you consider the alternative. Maurice Chevalier.
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One of the few advantages to being an adult is that you can eat your dessert without finishing your vegetables. Lisa Alther (I haven't heard of her either!).
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If that's mink she's wearing then there is a rabbit somewhere living under an assumed name.
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Most people who are as witty, intelligent and as attractive as me are usually conceited. Joan Rivers
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Old McDonald was dyslexic, IEOIE
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This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. Winston Churchill.
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The insurance man told me I was insured for falling off the roof ~ but NOT for hitting the ground. Tommy Who Else Cooper.
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I only use my initiative when I'm asked to. Waitress at Strollers!
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You'll regret that to your dying day ~ if you live that long.
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I'm for a stronger death penalty. George Bush.
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